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Old / Past

by mothica

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how's it going over there? I've got some things you'll wanna hear it's been a while since we split I've been trying to forget I'm not like you left me I'm not saying sorry come down off your pedestal, baby maybe we can keep it a secret keep me a secret will you keep me a secret? between us I can't keep a secret
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i can feel that rain in my veins will you ever learn my ways? i thought you knew when i met you first but you shot through my universe hold me while i molt i’m not feeling strong now if you want me when i’m growing then you’ll be here when i’m feeling fine, fine, fine when i’m feeling fine, fine, fine, (repeats x 4) start again erase it all will you be here if i fall? it feels just like we just met would you say we’re lost again? hold me while i molt i’m not feeling strong now if you want me when i’m growing then you’ll be here when i’m feeling fine, fine, fine when i’m feeling fine, fine, fine, (repeats x 4)
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✦ ✦ ✦ slow, child you're my star child grounded surrounded oh star child eyes wild calm down don't sleep now when you rise and fall breathe it all out stay child don't leave now wasted sacred town sleep dream slow down
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kept down we drink forget everything blackout slurred speech I thought we would undo everything I thought it would all erase from your memory that day we fall down and we think we can get up and that we're not weak x2 but I want to take back every thing I said that
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Trying 2 Say 01:32
Don't know what I'm trying to say To you right now let's wait It's coming up strong, our fate I'm sorry I'm not myself today I want you, boy, I know It's not that easy to go through For you, it's a price to pay And all I can think is I want you to call me home I want to them to leave me alone If I could exist for one day I would only want to see your face
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i found you under my spell you were curled up like the winter i found me trying to get out of this place i found you trying to smother me with all your presents and all your visions i found you calling me your own name i won't carry you i won't carry you leave me to be tell me you'll leave me to be leave me to be tell me you want me to die like i do
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strapped down like you want i'll break a new one open me like a fresh cut and spill it all out when you're done i won't forget, i won't fall short not a single thing could out do before i won't forget, not this time you got a big mouth for a closed mind tied up by my thoughts times up i'm sliding the rope off my wrists are you done with me yet? are you done with me, i'm tied up by my thoughts times up i'm sliding the rope off my wrists i thought you were better than this, i thought i thought, you knew i'm not the best i'm not the best at holding myself, who knew? i thought, you knew i'm not the best i'm not the best at holding myself, who knew? how do i open up and say it? don't want to get too ahead of my place in your head my place in your head how do i open up and say it? don't want to get too ahead
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oh, you forced my hand i'll never forget the chains you sewed and the fire you lit oh, you forced me down drugged me again i dreamt i could fly right out of it i'm just waiting for a safe bet you're not claiming any part of me and i'll just hide here in the darkness until it's all over
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you know i tried to call i'm wilting on my own when we speak pretend i'm weak i'll make it home i know before i turn to stone and you think i'm imagining things you leave me all alone to get higher than my low and i'll drink to tell you these things i'll make it home i know before i turn to stone and you think i'm imagining things i'm imagining things i'm imagining what what i could be what i would see if this brain didn't deceive me, i i guess we'll never know why we do these things we do it to ourselves, we do it to ourselves and why do we do it? make ourselves miserable just to prove that we can feel? cuz i'm numb and you can see it drifting through your vision i'll call you out before i run out cuz i'm numb and you can see it drifting through your vision i'll call you out before i run out
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Oh, you thought we're after different things we're off to how do i say i'm not your saving grace? and how do i stay overcast Now, it's not like i'm trying to shade you I just excel in the dark these days now, you're a golden kind of vision i’m missing not like my darkened apparition chasing waves we're running different mazes or is it all the same or is it all the, all the, all the, all the same (repeats) Now, you're a golden kind of vision i’m missing not like my darkened apparition
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tell me what it's gonna be I fall in love too easily with everything surrounding me tell me what it's gonna be tell me what it's gonna be with everything surrounding me with everything surrounding me I fall, fall, I fall, fall tell me what it's gonna be I fall in love too easily with everything surrounding me
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Talk about when you weren’t so far you weren’t so far away Let’s talk about how you’re always far, you’re always far away I felt something too I felt something too Didn’t you? (repeats) Talk about when you weren’t so far you weren’t so far away Let’s talk about how you’re always far, you’re always far away Right from your eyes when, when will I get to? right from your eyes, when, when do i?
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stay up, stay awake i am still drinking it's the morning wake up from your death let's take a shot i'll bring it to your bed how can you be so lonely? we got all our fake friends and all the cheap gin how can you be so empty? we got all our parent's money
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about

A collection of all of my collaborations and songs that were publicly posted on Soundcloud from December 2013 (when I started) to November 2015 (now). Some songs are now private and unable to be accessed anywhere else but here.

I'm allowed by Bandcamp 200 free downloads per month. Each song is individually downloadable for free or pay-what-you-wish. I got some requests from people wondering what happened to all my old songs. Most of them are searchable on YouTube or Soundcloud under "mothica" uploaded by the producers/other people, but I decided to put them here as well.

<3

disclaimer: the album artwork was an adaptation of a shlohmo single artwork that i originally adapted to do a "vocal version" of one of his songs. all credit goes to the original artist, who i could not find accredited anywhere.

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released November 25, 2015

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mothica Brooklyn, New York

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